Tuesday, 25 August 2015

From the eyes of anxiety

How the world is to a person with anxiety

A person with anxiety, although I'm no expert, in my opinion has a different way of seeing the world. I've come to see the world with two different sets of eyes the way the world should be seen and the way I see it. The way I see it is that anything I am meant to do but have no knowledge of or experience in, is very frightening for me. Now I'm not sure how open minded my readers are but let's try and see this from my perspective and not the way it is for you, as we all different and have different experiences in life so if you start thinking ....that's strange or that's really small it's not a big deal, let's try to remember that something small for you is bigger for someone else.

Okay and with that I'd like to talk some more. I've always been quite I'm not sure if it's called practical but let's say that. What I mean by that is anything I am told to do, I have to know exactly how to do it, often I think I have a low form of autism as I sometimes have no clue how to do basic things and have to know an exact way of how to say things or do things. Once I know how to do it, I no longer feel anxious infact I can be really confident. With academia it's always different even though I like to complete things thoroughly I can research these things, which is true for other social situations too but on the spot I cannot obviously do and that is what makes me anxious. Everything in my eyes has the worst possible outcome. Not only that but everything I do I analyse it over and over, along with the fact that I think everyone is laughing and staring at me...but I'm realising that this is really untrue I don't know why but I've always been in between being really laid back and really neurotic, that's strange right? So I'm trying to coax my laid back persona and make that more dominant. For instance in any situation what is the worst outcome? If I were at the police station trying to report something, even if I stutter, even if I get embarrassed, is that the worst? Like...I didn't die. I still managed to do it!

What I'm trying to say is, the worst outcome is all in my mind. It's not a big deal if I look stupid. Who cares what they think? I need more confidence in myself. I also need to relax and know if I try my best and I fail then at least I know I put all my effort in. I hope those that have anxiety can try and coax their laid back persona and if it's non existent try to train yourself to see the world like that. Slowly you can do it. Just start by doing it in your head when you get anxious. And to those who don't have anxiety I hope it's helped you understand anxiety better. Thanks! Wasalaam!

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