Skip to main content


Showing posts from 2017

Barefoot basics

Today I tried out barefoot running it was definitely an experience! I could really feel my feet doing the work and I quite liked feeling my feet hit the ground. I didn't have any injuries or much pain than usual. My muscles were a bit sore like normal.

You can buy a similar pair from sports direct any sort of aqua shoes should be enough protection for your feet.
These are the hot tuna pair I think my sister bought them for a few pounds I don't remember.

-you can feel your feet hitting the ground which feels kinda nice
-you can get used to it quite easily
-very lightweight on your feet

-you have to work a bit harder because your feet are doing alot of work your feet get tired more easily
-you can feel the ground when you're walking when you're running it doesn't really matter

I borrowed my sisters hot tuna aqua shoes. Hot tuna usually do sports gear for water sports. The ones I wore are a cheaper alternative to Vibrams. Vibrams are a bit more on the expe…

Sweating clothes

I bought some new running gear because it's always good to look the part. I bought one jacket, trainers, a running belt, a hat and a sports bra. Firstly I'll start with the thing I loved the most. I love the running shoes. Before I bought them I researched what would be best for me, as I tend to run on pavements and the brand of shoe I would be buying, I needed a good pair of trainers that were decently priced. I ended up buying the Saucony Swerve.

It was £44.99 originally £89.99 which is a normal price for trainers. Pros:
-feels comfortable on the feet
-has seriously helped with my shin splits and ankle injuries
-feet feel lightweight P. S that's why I invested in running shoes because mine were too small for running and they were quite tough to run in which caused me alot of pain. When buying running shoes always buy a bigger size as your feet will swell.  But in another post I'll talk about minimal running shoes which is called barefoot running. Cons
-it's …

Message to Books

Reading has always been a huge part of my life from when I was young to now. It has healed, it has provided comfort, cured boredom and loneliness, it has been my oldest friend.

When I was in year 9 I signed up to Carnegie and I started reading more, then I joined book of book awards and unpublished book reviewing and then I joined more. And my weeks were filled with running home changing and making myself a nice plate of chips to sit down and read with. I finished four books usually in a week and I would review them for the clubs. I was the first one to complete my reviews and I often got certificates and awards for reading the most, reviewing the most, my life was about reading.

It wasn't because I loved reading to begin with, that happened later. I initially started because I was lonely. I didn't have many friends, this was because I was quite headstrong and bossy at the age of 12/13 which caused me to lose lots of friends, this experience humbled me however and made me intr…

First Snow

The first day it snowed I was happy, I was awoken by the sounds of pitter patter on my window and the shapes of white houses. It had snowed. You know the first day it snows is meant to be romantic like how in movies they say meet me on the first day it snows, it's not a time or a date, it's just a day it snows and it's quite beautiful. I wanted to run on this day too, this was my long run day. And I wasnt prepared to be stopped by snow, or so I thought. After breakfast and gazing admiringly out the window I adorned my new running gear I had received in the post yesterday, (I'll do a post on this too) and was out the door to join my family frolicking in the snow. Then I set out to run. When I entered the park it was white and mostly untouched there were a few people around and by the time I had reached the bench my feet were soaked, I tried to drain my socks and continue abrasively in the snow but after 1 lap my feet were frozen, and I was sure they would come snapping …


I have been reading a lot of books on running and writing so I'll do an update on good books for that soon. I have been walking more too, it's so refreshing to walk somewhere instead of sitting down and waiting to be delivered.I walked to another area's library and I found they have so much more books! That's one thing I liked, two I enjoyed looking at my area and other areas as I walked. I also felt alot more alive than I do when I just return home by train.It really excites me finding new libraries, I plan on visiting more to scour out more running and writing books as well as fiction books! So I'll post the good ones on here! I want to get into a habit of walking to places if I can. I use the podcasts to entertain myself or music, long walks need something or I do get bored.

Important news!

I no longer carry a carrier bag, 1. my sister never fails to mock me for it, 2. it got stolen.
Well stolen is an exaggeration. A good citizen (more like a goody two shoes) decided they'd chuck it away, the first time it happened I found it, the second time, it seems they got better and I couldn't find it. What a torrid game of hide and seek. And I lost. Anyhow I also don't carry water with me, this is because its annoying to hold it and I'm used to it. At first I didn't, I thought I needed it but I didnt really, i think i was just afraid.  I also run for longer without stopping and I run to and from the park, I feel like I get more running done this way. I'm reading more running books aswell! Unfortunately theres not a lot of good running books so I am going to have to visit some more libraries to find them.

yes im a beginner. and ive gone and signed up to the London Landmarks Half Marathon with Muslim Hands for clean water around the world. Its in mar…

Books for That writer

I have two writing books I've read and would seriously recommend if you want to become a writer. I've always been into poetry but I've been really bad with writing stories. These two books have inspired me and I have written a 12,000 word story (which is still being edited) in under a month! (I'm pretty sure it was within a month). Even if you don't want to write books, it can still help you with writing poetry. With writing it is essential to do it daily. Honestly. Writing everyday really has helped me with my creativity! I have no idea why but I have a thing for writing love poetry. Moving on, on to the two books. The first one is How to Write your First Novel by Sophie King.

219pages at £9.99 (read it from your library before you buy to see if you want it long term) Non-Fiction
Summary: An in depth guide to how to write a story. From story planning to ideas and when to write there's a chapter for every question you might have!
Pros: I believe you could pr…

Run like Mad

I've been running for about two months now and I've picked up a few things that may or may not be of interest to you in any case read on if you'd like to know.
1)Firstly, setting up a running routine is good because you know exactly when you want to run and you can fit in your other life around it, this includes the time of day you want to run and where, as well as for how long. I run in my local park which is about a 10minute walk from my house, however some people don't have park that's close in that case you could run in the local area. I also run for 30-40mins on Wednesday and Friday this equals to about 3laps around my park, the reason why it's good to round it to laps is so you don't have to check the time. I usually do a long run on Sunday for about an hour. I usually run after breakfast but as I tend to write in the mornings if I wake up late it can be early afternoon too. 2)Next, at the beginning you might not experience running injuries but after…

Wake up call

This is a wake up call. ... Beep... Beep... This is a wake up call. Default:
In case you'd like a reminder I'm here to give you one, I'm writing this to remind you that even if theres earthquake tomorrow or a universal uproar next week you'll still always be the same to me but you have some work to do. 1. You are wild in thought, in action and in every and any possible way. You are definitely not normal, but that's good. That's okay. That is what makes us right. Continue to be wild and live your dreams and follow your destiny (whatever that may be) that being said don't get carried away, I know that happens often. Don't act on impulsive decisions. 2. Know your own value of yourself before taking anyone elses opinion. Its happened, time and time again. Where you believe someone else or you water yourself down like a vodka bottle that's (far) too bitter to taste at first. Why shouldn't you be bitter to taste? If that's you, those that can han…

Thank you

Yes I know. Do I ever talk about anything beside running? And yes I do but as a runner (if I can call myself that) I just find I like to talk about running aswell. JheezeLouise someone shut her up... Anyhow today when I went running I exchanged glances with a fellow runner and she had a huge smile on her face, I smiled back and in that moment we shared, we had an understanding: a connection of some sort. We knew it was tough, we knew we we had been working on this, but we weren't gonna give up and we smiled because we wanted to push each other we smiled because we knew the struggle we smiled because for God sake, we are both runners trying to run towards the light in our lives.... And if that's a whole load of crap, we just smiled because we are good natured people. But I prefer the crap.So that's all folks, that's what I was happy about today, it was small but it made me wanna join local park runs, she made me feel more like a runner, it was just once smile. Thank you…

Don't delete

Apologies IV this post is a favourite of mine and I wanted HH to be a part of it. IV is my other blog ( for those you unaware and the following post was on there first, see IV has always had second treatment in IVs eyes but I can assure you readers now that's not true! Anyhow IV suck it up (go read my apology on IV then!) and HH here you go:This is a mantra I've been saying to myself to keep going or to keep things around. I've always been the kind of person to think-eh that's not great or I'm not that good so I'll just delete it. But then I realised so what if it's not great, it's still an accomplishment to write it or to make it, there's no expectation to be better than someone else. Who's to say it isn't great even? I suppose I just realised it's an accomplishment to keep something in your life; to come to the point where deleting isn't an option but facing up to things is. That's why I've be…

In sickness and in health

So the other day I came across an app called Cast box if you have iPhone you probably already have podcasts which are essentially the same thing. There's so many channels you can subscribe to from poetry readings to health talks there's so much to explore. I listened to a podcast from poetry off the shelf by the The Poetry Foundationthe episode was titled from sickness into poetry and there was an author there her name was Meghan O'Rourke, she spoke of her poetry titled Sun in Days. The poems were about life and existence but she took quite an original angle, I personally have never heard of Meghan O'Rourke but this podcast has made very interested in her work, a few of the poems she read out were about the continuity of life and her feeling unlike herself when she fell sick; she was diagnosed with lyme disease but for a long time was undiagnosed and was unaware of its effects on her, (she has now been treated and currently is doing alot better) , she wrote a 22part p…

Running on drugs

I know it happens to all of us at some point; we get into a sort of funk that's hard to get out of. Sometimes in these kinda funks it's hard to want anything or do anything a while ago I read colourless tsukuru tazaki and in this book the character was essentially numb to living, he didn't want to live but simply continued, he kept up with his habits like laundry, swimming, cooking not because he wanted to or enjoyed it but because he knew he had to continue. Nowadays I can understand that in addition to a firm belief that whatever is now is not forever and to continue will only help me reach that 'better state of mind', however something surprised me. Usually in this sort of lack of lustre for life I have little to no enjoyment in most things but running seems to be strong despite this. Today I wanted to run, I had no reason I just enjoy it. And I'm damn glad I have something I want to do because slowly slowly I enjoy things less sometimes reading is even a ch…

Bookin'dot yeah

Hey you know what I realised? If there's something you wanna do, something you might be interested in but you're not quite sure where to start or maybe it's all quite overwhelming to even start it, try reading about it! Now hang on, let me finish.
I've always loved running but I stopped a few years ago then I read Haruki Murakami's what I talk about when I talk about running- as soon as I read the blurb it ignited my previous passion for running. Don't get me wrong I didn't start running immediately, it was a few months after I got into it then I stopped but I eventually returned and I can honestly say it was that book+ my passion. I just felt so inspired by it and deep down I knew I was a runner that needed to run eventually. But in between I guess I just liked reading sports memoirs because I found them interesting to learn about but it definitely helped me somewhere in my subconscious to push myself aswell! I'm doing that with writing too, I'v…

im scared

i feel kind of scared.
thats why i keep running.
i keep leaving everywhere i settle down
i dont want to be scared
but its ingrained within me
somewhere in my mind
when it seems like i might not be able to stay
when it seems like i cant 
i know i should run
and i listen
because i cant
keep continuing
yes im running with the doubt
i just believe it so easily
i keep falling for its lies
and i just leave easily
like i was never there
i dont want to carry it anymore
i dont want to be the burden
you're not

it's me 
the perpetual dissappointment
im sure it would be nice to talk about me to others
and say im doing something great with my life
 only im not
so theres not much to say about me and the only thing you can say is
im unemployed
suddenly all other things about me fly away
and theyve flown far up into the sky its so distant 
what a weird situation
no one cares about the other stuff
i didnt either

its great isnt it
to feel better than others
to feel greater
makes you feel high up on the clouds
makes you fe…

i forgot i loved you

I think I forgot what I used to love in the midst of all the confusion to who I am. In a world where so many expectations and pressures are thrown towards us is it anyone wonder we all are scared to think differently?I'm not an exception-I'm afraid to be different too. Sometimes I'm a bit of an impostor
I want to be this unconventional different kind of a girl and I end up being more conformed than I wanted.I..Well I'm a bit afraid to talk about what I really believe in because sometimes I have to check myself to see if that's what I really believe in and it's not something I say to make excuses for myself,no i mustn't be too hard on myselfI've had enough of it for now
I think my mental health may play a part in stopping me from doing things I want to but it's okay because me MH have agreed on a few things and although I'm not expecting any roses on valentines day, its better to be friends with my enemy than against it. So like I already said on I…

Double take

What I've realised recently is that when you watch/read something twice you get a better understanding and a whole new perspective. I watched two of my favourite dramas like three times (I loved them so much) and I understood the drama so much better, parts that I didn't understand were much clearer and I got a better idea of the characters and their intentions. This is true with books too, I've never read a book twice but when I've read a surah more than once I do have different feelings and I can get more meaning from it too. So why don't you try it? Read/watch something you love and see if you can get more from it.The two dramas were: Master's Sun & King of High SchoolThe Surah: Surah Mulk

REVISED: Kdrama Addicts

Assalamalaikum,If you haven't read the Kdrama addiction post ( it might be hard to understand the references I make in this post- if you want to you can look at it otherwise just figure it out. I know previously I have said watching Kdramas are bad and blah blah, but as I've matured and I am not so addicted I can say it's not a bad influence anymore because it's taught me things. Initially I felt insecure by Korean beauty standards but now I think I feel more secure in myself because I know I'm happy with my race, my beauty and where I come from. I think I can happily admire and appreciate Korean Culture without it affecting my self confidence. I think that has come from a place where I've learnt how to be grateful for everything and work on my love for myself. Also I've come to love cheesy clich├ęs, I know I've said I didn't like it in the past, but Japanese cliches seem to reall…


Guys I need your help! I'm fundraising money for Islamic Help for Palestinian and Syrian refugees by trekking a waterfall which is similar to mountain trekking, any donation big or small is valued even passing it on! The link is just there ---->I'll post the URL here too,


Chocolate Bandwagons

I feel like sometimes when someone upsets another person or a person's negative habits arise people are quite quick to jump on the bandwagon and label that as their 'characteristic' or them being well known for that particular behaviour which of course is not true, sometimes people act out of character when pushed and obviously sometimes it is their negative habit but sometimes it's not. And I think the sometimes it's not is important. Because when we focus on the fact that this person is 'like that' we forget that sometimes we can also be 'like that'. We all are a little bit selfish, a little vain, a little petty, a little too confrontational: sometimes. Just because at that time it wasn't you doesn't mean it hasn't or counldnt be you. Sometimes I get really annoyed with my sister and I think God why are they like that, and then I think that about another sister and usually it goes around until my whole family has had that thought from …

Well done

There's an incredible feeling when you run
Not at the beginning right at the end
The moment when you know you're nearly finished if you're like me you like a big dramatic finish to your run so you run speedily, like lightning almost as fast as Usain Bolt. In those moments I certainly feel like my legs could take me anywhere, like they're not my legs, but a machine that doesn't stop until I say so. The out-of-breath collapsing feeling after youre finished is great too. You're done. You win.Yes you win, because you set out to run and you did
Well done.


One minute you're thinking you're gonna spend the rest of your life with this person. Planning little things, imagining how this will be how that'll be. And suddenly in the blink of an eye- they're gone. Wiped from your memory almost. Like they never existed. It's hard to even grasp their physical presence. It's hard to even imagine that they were a part of your life. It's weird isn't it? How absence can grow mold on memories how it can wither away, how the brain can just try to forget (because you told it to) and all those feelings and emotions once so passionate, and do or die, are now floating in the back of your mind, how funny is it, that something so serious to us can become so insignificant to us so instantaneously? (For some)The thing I keep really thinking is- what does it all really mean? Does it mean that it meant nothing? Was it all superficial feelings with no substance? Or is it the brain's desperate attempt at denial? A form of protec…

Thank you

I've been going on a journey- a journey to a better self. A higher version of who I am or who I can be. I've been doing more and just generally more happier. It's also made me think how life doesn't have to be riches and luxury to be enjoyable simply being happy with what you have and not comparing lives is enough. I've been being more thankful in life. Or trying to be. Trying to say thanks more- to God, to people, to everything. Thank you world for everything you bring and everything I've taken. Thank you God for my brilliant mind and me being content with my own company.

Jordan Catalano

This is Jordan Catalano

That guy who you never really understood
but somehow he was so mysterious
and intriguing
you somehow found yourself admiring

or hes the idiot bad boy in school
that you liked because he defied expectations

Jordan for me represented my first real experience (interaction) with a guy
hes so similar to Jordan its weird

I saved Jordan Catalano as my wallpaper, somehow I like his character eventhough hes so unbelievably dense, I think he has something
hes a nice guy underneath it all

The girl that died

There is a Greek myth of a girl that died and her belongings were left on the ground and because the basket was so heavy the acanthus plant grew outwards but the top remained flat, and that is why the Corinthian structure looks the way it does. (according to the myth)

Yes, there's no story of why the girl died, who this girl is, etc. etc. information that would be very informative and useful only that she died. Sorry folks, that's the myth, I didn't get much from the Greeks!

Update: I've been self-studying on Khan Academy, Art History in fact, I've always been fascinated by Art and History and I realised there's a thing called Art History! They have exams and all sorts, really interesting and I've been really enjoying it! There's no commitment to it, so even if I lose interest or give up, its down to me which is good. I didn't always like mythology but I've come to really like it.

 I like the fact that I know these cool random facts, reminds me o…


Some may ask, wasn't your confidence knocked when you were told you weren't good enough? Doesn't it make you wary of future meetings?The simple answer is no.
No because I never had much confidence to begin with.

First Eid

It's the first Eid I havent in a long time been to Eid prayer at the mosque, this time I prayed it at home.It's also the first time I went to the cemetery on Eid. I went to visit my Dad. It's weird seeing a slab stone with his name- what's funny is we couldn't find it and we found another stone with his name but the age was wrong and the date of his death, it's funny how two people can die with the same names and different times and mean so much to different people. It's funny how I stared at the stone trying to make more of my Dad than just words written down, than just letters that make up his name, and numbers that make up his age, and everything and nothing that makes up the memory of him. It seems like the memory of him is a distant memory eventhough it was last year he was alive. Why does it feel like he didn't really exist? Why does it feel like he vanished? It was last year he wanted to talk to me, it was last year I was doing nursing, it was la…

Happy music

Life takes us through so many hurdles, so many journeys so many discoveries of ourselves. Do we ever just sit and think about how we came to be the person that we are now? I know I have been through a whirlwind of different personalities, different phases, feelings, thoughts, dreams. However I have remained somewhat constant- what I admire about myself is that I believe in myself (not necessarily my abilities) but I believe and support my actions regardless, and ... I'm glad I have strong principles, I guess it makes me who I am. Despite what I've had to sacrifice for them.Over the years I've always wondered who I'd be. In fact when I was younger I would dream of how I would be when I was older. (Older being past 20's) I'd imagine I would magically transform into this strong, independent, accomplished woman. And it would somehow come to be at this magical transition to adulthood. Oh how I would tell myself it's not that simple. Life is not that simple. We n…

Finding Colin Firth

I just finished reading Finding Colin Firth and I cannot tell you how amazing this book is! Mia March is definitely a gem of a writer who needs to write more! I've realised Stephen King and Mia March both come from Maine where their stories  are usually set. I feel like I know Maine better, if I were ever to go there. I've gotta tell you Maine seems like a warm and loving place, a absolutely wonderful place for a vacation. This book by the title might make you think it's just another romance book to toss aside, think again folks! This book is more than just romance, it's inspiring, it looks at three characters lives' and their very real problems and how they deal with them, I wouldn't say it's completely realistic because reality is different for everyone but it made me think about life in a different way, made me feel more hope, certainly made me love pie more! One of the characters is an amazing Baker and she even puts a recipe down, if not for the book, …

Hakuna Matata

So I made a decision recently. And to this day I'm still unsure of whether it was the right one. That's the thing isn't it? How do you know that this path is the right path? That this is the path of good and great things? I guess you don't. You just take risks and carve a way out for yourself. God. I love it. I love not knowing what's going on it's so different and unconventional and daring. In a world where rules govern society isn't it amazing to forget them? To live freely? To forget what others expect and just jump off that cliff? I went to climb Mount Snowdon the other day and it was o beautiful and refreshing and I thought wht if life could just be about living these experiences and being in awe of life and the nature that surrounds us? Some may think it's an excuse that I'm just lazy and I'll say anything to excuse getting out of hard work. Which if I'm honest you might be right. But so what, as long as I live ,I want my life to be ab…


There was something amazing about the day I finished placement. (Did I tell you I hated it?) I felt free and I felt so grateful I was able to walk around without worrying about going home to prepare for my next shift. There was some new found magic in the air and I felt like I was walking on water. But without this experience I don't think the moment I finished would've been as amazing as it was. It honestly felt like a bazillion fireworks going off and I was dancing with joy. Maybe there's a lesson in it, some gratitude I need to obtain in all of these horrid encounters with people because things happen for a reason. Maybe that's one of the reasons. Maybe. Wasalaam

Being single

I have been thinking about something. Recently I feel my time is useless like I'm not using my time as good as I could be. I watched How to be single yesterday (yes you do have to skip alot of the scenes) and throughout the whole movie she is hell-bent on finding a guy and she goes through different guys wondering why it didn't work out and I was kinda sucked in too thinking damn why can't she find a guy, but then she had this epiphany where she decided she would focus on herself and she started doing more like going to the gym and cycling and all sorts of cool stuff, honestly it was empowering just to see that change in her. And it inspired me aswell, not that I'm looking for a guy just to do more with my life, at the end of the day we control our lives, how we feel so what's the point of being sad or moping around. Let's be active!  I have to say I really enjoyed the movie, I thought it was a good movie and realistic aswell. So to help be more active I create…

Capturing my heart

I've been watching 13 reasons why on Netflix. It's been an interesting journey of suicidal thoughts and the teenage angst in high school. I feel enlightened to a certain degree (bearing in mind it is for entertainment) I feel like the message Hannah passes on to Clay is very similar to the one Virginia Woolf wrote to her husband before she committed suicide. I can't help but feel there's so much tragic beauty to these notes, so much beautiful poetry. I've always said there's so much beauty to sadness.       But you need to be here if I’m going to tell           my story. If I’m going to explain why I did what I did. Because you aren’t every other guy — you’re different. You’re good. And kind. And decent. And I didn’t deserve to be with someone like you. I never would. I would’ve ruined you. It was me and everything that’s happened to me."
(13 reasons why: Hannah's message to Clay )       Dearest,       You have given me the greatest possible            …

Dealing with numbness

So what I've come to realise is that over time sins that may be minor or major, if done over a period of time become less and less wrong in our eyes. However we justify it to ourselves ultimately the guilt erodes. Now I'm not saying this is acceptable however I am saying it happens. You can deal with it in different ways this is how I've been dealing with it. Ideally we shouldn't repeat the sin but for some it's hard and it becomes a sort of addiction.First of all identify in your head it's wrong. And reprimand yourself. Second of all, erase all resources to this sin. It's important to stay away from it even if you don't feel guilty. Continue to stay away and strive to do good deeds.Lastly remind yourself of the punishments of this particular sin.
It might also be helpful to try and become closer to God in general. Make more effort to practise your Deen and gain closeness to Allah.

Thick enough?

I never realised how important it is to develop a thick skin. Not only is thick skin important for healing and when you get older, it's also important when experiencing life. I was watching a documentary about Michael Jackson the other day and continuously people would say he failed to develop a thick skin which resulted in his obsession with how others viewed him, he had a childlike mentality that didn't understand the world of the media where every action is scrutinized.  (I'm not discounting his alleged crimes of paedophilia that's a seperate story). Ultimately his obsession to become the world's greatest artist drove him mad and drove him to depression and insecurity. I don't think I can fully say I understand Michael Jackson but I can say this, he was extremely unique and talented but with this came his oddness;his bizarre obsession with children for one and his lack of ability to comprehend the world. When I was watching this documentary I wondered to mys…