Skip to main content

Sacrificing a Selftitude

Assalaamualikum Wa Rahmtullahi Wa Baraktuh,

I bow my head in shame to you, oh loyal reader, for I have failed you. Inconsistency is what I wanted to avoid and I have found myself in the quicksand of it. 

Please forgive me.

It has been a month since I have posted and I can honestly say it's been a confusing time for me. Recently it feels like all I have is issues with myself, battling them everyday, though I am practical and usually good at solving problems, it seems as though this is something reoccurring. 

I apologise, I apologise for making you bear the brunt of this, as you should not. I had a problem not so long ago, it was to do with sacrifice. What I mean by sacrifice is, giving up something you would not choose to, because of a certain situation you are forced to. For me it was university, and a stable "career" when prospects of this disappeared I felt low, like my life was meaningless. I felt as though I was missing out on what everyone else had, I lacked a real experience of life.

For me, stability is really important, I need stability to help me be positive in life, personally I find many flaws in my character and in order to overcome it, one step is stability in a job. You may ask, how does that relate? Well I work in a weirdly wired way so let me explain. Job prospects are more likely to cheer me up in the day, I.e if I do something I enjoy and allows me to progress and develop, this would help me be positive at home as well as gratefulness in general. 

However I realise there was many flaws in my thinking 1) such situation determines my happiness this means I rely solely on this career development therefore when it is taken away I lose sight of reality, this is always dangerous as you lose reliance on God. 2) gratefulness is not determined by what i gain, it should be an eternal element within myself that cannot appear or disappear, this shows that my faith in God is flawed and needs work 3)  there seems to be a bigger problem at hand, if i am looking for something other than God it shows that i have changed direction in life. This is not to say i cannot have aspirations but the mere fact this is what I have based my life on means I need to work on other parts of my deen. As there seems to be a lack in fulfilment in these. 

Thank you for being here to help me write this out.

Wasalaam


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Run like Mad

I've been running for about two months now and I've picked up a few things that may or may not be of interest to you in any case read on if you'd like to know.
1)Firstly, setting up a running routine is good because you know exactly when you want to run and you can fit in your other life around it, this includes the time of day you want to run and where, as well as for how long. I run in my local park which is about a 10minute walk from my house, however some people don't have park that's close in that case you could run in the local area. I also run for 30-40mins on Wednesday and Friday this equals to about 3laps around my park, the reason why it's good to round it to laps is so you don't have to check the time. I usually do a long run on Sunday for about an hour. I usually run after breakfast but as I tend to write in the mornings if I wake up late it can be early afternoon too. 2)Next, at the beginning you might not experience running injuries but after…
Post a Comment
Read more

Running to the Docks

So last week I went to the royal docks- well that's pretty ordinary, no idea why you decided to mention it as a post
 Well guys, I ran there.
I knew the course roughly via barking road until you need to turn towards Newham University Hospital, from there its straight until you get to Prince Regent DLR and then a right and about 10minutes will you get you to Royal Victoria DLR. It's a simple route, but I did get lost at the T-junction towards Custom House or Eastham, luckily I had my phone on hand to guide me. 
The route was easy enough, I have ran to Plaistow a couple of times, so that was familiar, from then, it was touch and go. However with such a long route you do need pitstops. My pitstop was Newham University Hospital, they have a toilet and a prayer room, what more could you ask for? Plus it was Sunday, so it was practically empty!But other pitstops could be Westfield, from Plaistow you just follow it round, but that would be a detour from the route so I found the Hospit…
Post a Comment
Read more

Barefoot basics

Today I tried out barefoot running it was definitely an experience! I could really feel my feet doing the work and I quite liked feeling my feet hit the ground. I didn't have any injuries or much pain than usual. My muscles were a bit sore like normal.




You can buy a similar pair from sports direct any sort of aqua shoes should be enough protection for your feet.
These are the hot tuna pair I think my sister bought them for a few pounds I don't remember.

Pros:
-you can feel your feet hitting the ground which feels kinda nice
-you can get used to it quite easily
-very lightweight on your feet

Cons:
-you have to work a bit harder because your feet are doing alot of work your feet get tired more easily
-you can feel the ground when you're walking when you're running it doesn't really matter

I borrowed my sisters hot tuna aqua shoes. Hot tuna usually do sports gear for water sports. The ones I wore are a cheaper alternative to Vibrams. Vibrams are a bit more on the expe…
Post a Comment
Read more