Assalaamualikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,
So as life has it, I find myself in such predicaments which I end up writing about here-on this blog. I've actually been planning to write about this for a very long time- and I don't think I plan on going through such experiences just to write on here and advise you all of what not to do, but it so happens that it works out that way so I suppose y'all are some lucky fellows ;) . But this time I am not going to tell you an experience I had infact I am going to take you through a journey and through that journey we will look at how Shaytan tempts us-which may or may not be relatable to any of yous. This scenario is one which I have made up and it is not targeted at anyone. This post is a follow on from Mixing Mayhem.
So you're in class and you get put in a group with girls and guys, and hey that's okay because you know what you have to do and you know that Islamically it's okay for you to talk to guys for work but if you can avoid it you will. So class goes on and you wonder whether it would be best to try involve that guy in the corner who seems left out, and as youre the confident one- why not? Nothing informal, keep it formal. So you talk to him and he seems hesitant, he talks but hardly contributes. You decide to ignore it and continue the work, then you hear him talking but not about the work, infact he's distracting the other group members! This really makes you mad, because now noone is paying attention so you start getting involved in the private conversation only to realise it was a crude joke amongst themselves, things get heated and you argue with the boys. So you start to feel bad a Muslimah wouldn't argue maybe it wasn't good to get angry. But you had every right to be angry...or did you?
Okay sisters, so sometimes its common to argue with the opposite gender purely because they arent participating or we think they aren't participating enough- but we should remain cool and collected because that is what a Muslim would do, no matter how much we believe we are justified, we can tell them to participate in a nice way.
This time you get partnered up with a boy and you and him start talking about work, at first its really formal but then you feel start to relax thinking hes only a class mate, soon as you know it, you two are laughing and now you wonder if he'd ever marry you. You know he would never like you so that makes you think its okay to talk more knowing he'd never feel the same, so you two sit next to eachother and then one day he asks you out, now your stuck a guy you've liked for ages asked you out. You thought its okay to like him becausing liking in Islam is halal - with no action of course, but now you have no idea what to do, because although you love Allah, he seems to love you too.
Let me just say do not allow yourself to be delusional about this boy. You have to take time to really think this through; if you were to date him, when it ends, how will you face Allah knowing you blatantly disobeyed him? Do not sin in the hope of repenting. Also you need to wake up to reality, okay he may be nice but all guys 'seem nice' this fades and if you dont believe me then believe this, would you ever marry, how long will it take, would your parents approve? Face it sisters this isn't Romeo And Juliet and dating is not a prelude to marriage, it will tear away goodness and all expectations of a pure and healthy marriage. As well as that, dating is unstable theres no real commitment so he can leave whenever he wants and due to this instability you tend to fully emerge yourself into the relationship obsessing and trying your best to make it work, but with marriage there's a contract that can't be ditched as soon as you get bored its real, its serious and you're less likely to be as obsessive because there's no secrets no time lapse as everyone knows about it.
Sometimes its not always him asking you out, sometimes it hasnt even got there yet. Its still in the talking stage- the butterflies in your tummy when you see him, the embarassed blush if he accidentally looks your way. You feel as though life is bliss whenever you see him, nothing can beat being around him. He makes you feel...special.
This isnt ringing ALARM bells but it could still lead to haram. The reason I say this is because yes you can admire, like whoever you want. So long as you don't interact with the person regularly. Doesn't take a genius to work out why thats dangerous. And so on that note I'll end. Any advice you wanna share be my guest :D
P.s ignore the dates on this post and the upcoming posts I dont really get it myself.