Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,
Well first off let me apologise for posting so late and second of all let me congratulate you for being here with me for the first day back to college! Boy sometimes exams really do get the best of you and sometimes the bad of you ;)... That being said the approaching exams have finally hit me hard and I'm now frantically trying to revise as much as I can however fear not people I have already done prior revision it's just my Easter holidays weren't used very wisely...
So recently I've been thinking it over and decided I would do as much as I can to get the best grade I can and naturally it made me wonder why I'm not doing that to get to Jannah Al Firdous.
Then I felt insanely guilty so I decided I would also pursue learning about deen and not letting it become dormant. Let's be honest sisters alot of the time we get so preoccupied with things in our lives that we forget to learn more about our Deen. We can never stop learning no matter how practicing you are you will always learn more in Islam.
That reminds of Surah Al Kahf.
And they found a servant from among Our servants to whom we had given mercy from us and had taught him from Us a [certain] knowledge.
[Surah Al Kahf- 18:65]
SubhanAllah if you read the story of Moosah (AS) and the servant you will find that we will always learn, from eachother- we all have flaws and sometimes we can't even see them but others can and they can help us.
So as I was saying learning about Islam is important if you stop your passion you level of Eeman won't remain consistent we need constant nourishment of our souls in order to better ourselves. One way of bettering our souls is to of course do good deeds, this may sometimes prove difficult with the wrong mindset.
When doing good deeds we must always remind ourselves of the purpose (Allah SWT) and remove seeds of jealousy, anger, hatred and so on. Also we need to do consistently, me being a very fickle person I always jump around from everything and I know better than anyone that while we get an eeman boost from good deeds it doesn't always remain which makes us stop doing the deed which of course we sshouldn't do.
Try talking to yourself and finding out why you don't want to continue the deed, help yourself understand that it is to help you improve as a person, make a firm intention and ask for Allah to help you.
Dont give up Shaytan loves to tempt us and make us doubt ourselves- he may even make you think you are 'trying to be too good'- but don't let him win- you continue doing good deeds and sock it to him!
InshaAllah this was beneficial if not I am sorry.