I'm afraid as time silently passed by, my thoughts did too, and thus the reason why I am writing so late. I am not sure whether you are aware, I write stories, teen fiction, but I'm looking to explore other areas, there's just something magical in writing; its like creating a whole new world- one day you can live in a mansion, or on the other side of the world, the possibilities are endless.
In relation to writing, I think all of my posts reflect my thought process, and my version of how I see the world, and if you haven't by some odd reason, realised I have a philosophical outlook. Now the good thing about it is, I dont believe (though others would disagree) that it is hard to think philosophically, I believe we all can do it as we all have brains, and I think once you've read a perspective which thinks a bit deeper, it certainly changes your views (whether you like it or not!)
Originally I was looking to advise (in any way I could I suppose) sisters, like you with problems they may have (which may or not be similar to mine) but over time its become more than that. It's become a beacon of my thoughts and often it helps me unravel my own thoughts, yes that may sound odd, but even I don't understand my thoughts sometimes.
Well moving on to the topic at hand, I have want to share something I have been thinking about.
This is something I have come to realise and to be honest I don't usually share my thoughts but seeing as you and I have become so close, I thought why not?
So sis, can I ask, what gets you through your day/week? Do you feel like it goes by grudgingly and your constantly waiting for something...exciting..?
Because originally I, somewhere in the back of my mind had a 'goal' every day/week whether it was to eat some delicious food or go out with my friends, there was always something I was looking "forward" to.
And shamefully I have come to realise this, is really, quite destructive. You know why? Seeking a small satisfaction or happiness almost undermines the real happiness you should have. For instance I am looking forward to going on holiday, what a week! I need this!! But then your prayers are half hearted you forget your sunnahs and tawaqqul. Instead focus on the amazing holiday but when the holiday is over, you simply look for another "feel good" and unfortunately it continues and inevitably makes you feel discontent and sad, because ultimately you are lacking real happiness.
Happiness in Worship to the Almighty. What I realised is when you look forward to praying, look forward to waking up, just being alive and connecting with Him, you never feel lost in time, or look towards anything, why? Because you are living in the present, not future not even past, you are enjoying what you have.
It is also because one thing we can be sure of, is what we have now, like of this minute I am sitting here writing and Alhamdulilah I can do this. I am blessed to be able to, but if I were to think about what I will write later on. ..oh no what should I write next week? What if I dont get time...and so on I wouldn't enjoy the fact I can do so now and it then if by Allah's will I made to next week there would only be worry and tension and I would not be a grateful Slave at all.
And are we not Slaves to the Almighty, blessed be to have this opportunity? May Allah bless each and every one of you, Ya Ukthi I love you fesabililahi <3 take care.
P.s I want to start a sisters corner, so you gals can throw me problems and I will post them on a page anonymously and give you my advice (bearing in mind I am not an aalimah but I can try to help you, obviously if it is something which requires scholarly advice I can help you find it aswell ;) ) but if you don't want them posted you can tell me and I won't I will just give you my advice instead :) .. You know my email, Elastix86@gmail.com email me if you have a dilemma on your hands, I am always ready to listen! It doesn't have to be a big problem maybe your struggling with faith, or school, or even feeling depressed, nothings "not worth it".