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Running on drugs

I know it happens to all of us at some point; we get into a sort of funk that's hard to get out of. Sometimes in these kinda funks it's hard to want anything or do anything a while ago I read colourless tsukuru tazaki and in this book the character was essentially numb to living, he didn't want to live but simply continued, he kept up with his habits like laundry, swimming, cooking not because he wanted to or enjoyed it but because he knew he had to continue. Nowadays I can understand that in addition to a firm belief that whatever is now is not forever and to continue will only help me reach that 'better state of mind', however something surprised me. Usually in this sort of lack of lustre for life I have little to no enjoyment in most things but running seems to be strong despite this. Today I wanted to run, I had no reason I just enjoy it. And I'm damn glad I have something I want to do because slowly slowly I enjoy things less sometimes reading is even a chore. But soon that'll all change I'm sure. I know I've changed, my posts aren't as islamic anymore but that is life I'm afraid, this blog was never for anyone but myself first and foremost.

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