Hijabi Hayah

I'm beginning to see that it's not that hard to change, well it is and it isn't.. What I mean is, comparing myself a couple of months ago and now, a lot has changed in terms of my mentality and my positivity. But I cannot say it was easy, at first even I was stumped at how I did it. Because I had tried(as you know) many times to become closer to God and failed on numerous occasions ( in my eyes) but alhamdulilah alhamdulilah I've been getting closer to it than ever before, and I realised its a lot to do with my actual faith in God not only do I need tawaqul (rememberance) of God but I also need to do this in action. And this. This is so important I think I forgot the different/the line/ the actuality of the situation I kept confusing my laziness, etc. and so on with my own personality and every time I did something I myself didn't approve of I wouldn't correct myself which in the past I would, it's so important to mould the Islamic personality to whatever de...

Over the past few days I've been wracked with worry- and it's not my usual worrying it's intense overthinking to the point where I'd get headaches, but at the same time I've also been coming closer to God which puts me in a dilemma. How can I worry so much about the future when I should have tawaqul in Allah that whatever happens is in his control, so long as I strive and do my best I ultimately have to leave the rest to him because if I don't then how can I truly say I'm a believer when I don't believe in my Lord and I don't rely on Him? I've found its so easy to put into practise accepting fate when you don't actuay have that much hardship to accept, not only that it's easy to accept when you don't have ongoing overriding issues within yourself and career, I mean I'm not disregarding the fact that it could be hard , but personally for myself when I was younger I found it easier to accept but now I find it much harder because of ...

Sometimes you know when you meet someone confident you instantly know they are confident, the warm smile, the big handshake, the open hand gestures(or maybe that's the psychoanalysts out there??) they all show that this person is confident.  But working in retail has made me realise that some people aren't actually as confident as they appear, sometimes they have insecurities themselves and they project this through trying to put someone else down, or appear better than someone else, because in my opinion someone who's actually confident wouldn't care about ridiculing someone they simply converse with another human in a normal manner, no hidden agendas, no mind games or ...upping someone. Yeah, so wasalaam

Being humble is hard, im giving it to you real. Sometimes it's just SO easy to think hey I have this and this and they don't have that. And hey I'm good at this and they ain't- and for girls, all you girls out there ;)- it's hey I'm prettier than her...... Sometimes you literally need to take a step back and slap yourself mentally. Like one big mental slap. You need to tell yourself, you need to shut ya ugly mouth, you ain't better than no one. Obviously sometimes Shaytan is always whispering as he does, like seriously get a life shay?  But sometimes it's a part of our own self obsession and my sister was actually talking about how society has made us so self obsessed and I do think it's true we are all so in love with ourselves. You see on Instagram those beautiful (mashaAllah ) girls constantly taking selfies , which I'm not dissing, because personally I hate it when other people diss girls who takes selfies or do duck faces; you should underst...

I think I had a misconception for a long time about Islam, that I feel somehow I've begun to clear. I used to think that when you truly love Islam- so much so that every day you wake up, you're so excited just to be alive! Who feels like that now, with such materialism and shallow thinking who actually wakes up feeling that, and not something ridiculous and pathetic like a wedding or an event somewhere where somehow you get to showcase your looks or your talent? When you truly love Islam- I can't even describe the feeling of sweetness, there's no worries, no stress, no headache. Because you rely on God and every day worries became second to it all because you know God will be there and whatever happens is his decree. That is not to say (speaking from experience) that mental health issues dissappear, no but that in itself is a test one which still needs reliance on God, and i do advocate the use of treatments and therapy although not medication because I feel there are t...

An addiction... It's so weird to think of addictions for me I always think of drug addicts or smokers but it can be anything from chocolate to makeup.  We all have addictions at some point. One time I was addicted to reading, all I would do is read. Literally when I woke up I would read- from fantasy to adventure. I loved reading then I had another addiction it was playing games. Again every day I played games on the laptop or TV (back when people played sky games) and then when I was in college I was addicted to studying I loved studying so I'd be studying all the time. Now I've come to a point where shopping is an addiction I mean I have had a shopping phase during college too but now that I don't have studying to distract me I suppose I'm consumed by materialism. I know it's not good I buy unnecessary clothing, coats, shoes and somehow I expect it to make me feel better but it doesn't. I've also started buying make up different colour lipsticks, you...

I have always felt a little bit strange and over time I thought I'd materialise into a normal person like everyone else. But as time went on I never did become that person I thought I'd naturally become.  Being different I realised is not bad- wha I'm trying to do is embrace who I am and not resent myself. In Islam issues like anxiety and depression is recognised, mental health does exist, there was a time I believed it didn't but only until I developed problems did I realise how important it is to address them. Islam does have remedies but that doesn't mean professional help can't be used- so long as it's not the sole reliance or comprising religion. Most of the time I find it's good to seek advise from those similar to you or even reading about those that are similar to you. It helps to know that there others out there like yourself. As well as engaging in activities that you enjoy- developing positive aspects of yourself in order to avoid resentment. ...