Skip to main content

Dear dad

Dear Dad,

When I was young I always had fun. I always had fun because of you, Dad. We would all visit London on Eid, going to tower hamlets for wings or green street for the famous kebabs. We were young and we didn't know much but you made it fun.

I would play with your hair and pick out gray hairs you would give me a pound for pulling out lots of gray hairs. You would buy me toys and we would all visit felixstowe beach and Clacton. You did a good job Dad. You made our childhood happy, filling it with outings and family visits, we had fun.

When we moved to London, it stopped. It seemed like you were busy with work and maybe we all forgot the love you showed us when we were young. Love is not the same for everyone. Stress and pressure make a person different. Difficult. I'm sorry I didn't understand better. I'm sorry you thought we didn't love you. I'm sorry you were annoyed at how we would avoid you. I'm sorry Dad.

We didn't understand your temperament. You had a lot going on and we didn't understand. I love you, Dad. You tried your best in everything and you showed me how to work hard. You never gave up. You were strong and courageous more brave than I. I always looked at you and thought my dad is so confident. And he doesn't even know English properly.

I want to be confident like you Dad. I'm glad you were proud that I was becoming a nurse. I'm sorry you worked so hard all your life and you never got to rest. You never had your retirement which you deserved. I'm sorry you never got to go back home and rest. I'm sorry you never got to enjoy your life properly.

I know you were a good man. There were things that everyone has done, that make us bad people. But we are not bad souls. I pray your soul is happy. I pray your soul finds peace in the grave and the grave is wide and filled with light. I pray your Allah forgives you of all of your sins. I love you so much Dad, I know I never showed it, but I did.

From your loving Daughter

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Solace

I'm tellin  you , it's this world it does funny things t you , messes with yo head. And that's why you gotta find solace. Solace in God, fool!  Don't be talking about no stay gram or cult. God is thee only one that gone help you out of your mess!  Don't be kiddin' yoself thinkin' 'ahh Joseph gone come round' and help me outta' this rut' naw damn well he aint! only God gone be there when life gets drawn out thin, you think Joseph gone be there when you die, fool? Don't be living and dyin by yo friends, Listen to yo old grandpa, when he say I been living for a long time na, and I learnt the world makes you think funny old things, things you would never think before , things like I ain't pretty no more or that girl is betterr than me. Or my frend is my worl'. Things no sane person would think! You hear? Even Things like the colour of my skinn determines my worth naw you see? This world it messes you UP. It gets inside yo skin and dig...

My, My, My Mannequin in The Sky

Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh, I find that we are all placed in a pickle at some point in our lives, perhaps we are the one placing other's in pickles. I don't know, let's see what we can do about this pickle fiesta, shall we? What I mean by being in a pickle, is often there are situations, whether it be arguments, opinions, debates etc. There's always questions being asked, expectations being set. Sisters, we shouldn't feel obliged to change our thoughts to meet others expectations. For example if someone asks you what do you think of so and so, and you bearing in mind it is haram to backbite refrain from commenting or say she is alright, makes the person aggravated which leads the person to  further question your opinion on them, it obvious to conclude that they want an agreeable opinion that puts them in the favourable light. This is in a sense peer pressure, but no sisters I urge you to stand strong in your opinions, who is that person to make...

Humility

Being humble is hard, im giving it to you real. Sometimes it's just SO easy to think hey I have this and this and they don't have that. And hey I'm good at this and they ain't- and for girls, all you girls out there ;)- it's hey I'm prettier than her...... Sometimes you literally need to take a step back and slap yourself mentally. Like one big mental slap. You need to tell yourself, you need to shut ya ugly mouth, you ain't better than no one. Obviously sometimes Shaytan is always whispering as he does, like seriously get a life shay?  But sometimes it's a part of our own self obsession and my sister was actually talking about how society has made us so self obsessed and I do think it's true we are all so in love with ourselves. You see on Instagram those beautiful (mashaAllah ) girls constantly taking selfies , which I'm not dissing, because personally I hate it when other people diss girls who takes selfies or do duck faces; you should underst...