Skip to main content

Journeys

Assalaamualikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

So as life has it, I find myself in such predicaments which I end up writing about here-on this blog.  I've actually been planning to write about this for a very long time- and I don't think I plan on going through such experiences just to write on here and advise you all of what not to do, but it so happens that it works out that way so I suppose y'all are some lucky fellows ;) . But this time I am not going to tell you an experience I had infact I am going to take you through a journey and through that journey we will look at how Shaytan tempts us-which may or may not be relatable to any of yous. This scenario is one which I have made up and it is not targeted at anyone. This post is a follow on from Mixing Mayhem.

So you're in class and you get put in a group with girls and guys, and hey that's okay because you know what you have to do and you know that Islamically it's okay for you to talk to guys for work but if you can avoid it you will. So class goes on and you wonder whether it would be best to try involve that guy in the corner who seems left out, and as youre the confident one- why not? Nothing informal, keep it formal. So you talk to him and he seems hesitant, he talks but hardly contributes. You decide to ignore it and continue the work, then you hear him talking but not about the work, infact he's distracting the other group members! This really makes you mad, because now noone is paying attention so you start getting involved in the private conversation only to realise it was a crude joke amongst themselves, things get heated and you argue with the boys. So you start to feel bad a Muslimah wouldn't argue maybe it wasn't good to get angry. But you had every right to be angry...or did you?

Okay sisters, so sometimes its common to argue with the opposite gender purely because they arent participating or we think they aren't participating enough- but we should remain cool and collected because that is what a Muslim would do, no matter how much we believe we are justified, we can tell them to participate in a nice way.

This time you get partnered up with a boy and you and him start talking about work, at first its really formal but then you feel start to relax thinking hes only a class mate, soon as you know it, you two are laughing and now you wonder if he'd ever marry you. You know he would never like you so that makes you think its okay to talk more knowing he'd never feel the same, so you two sit next to eachother and then one day he asks you out, now your stuck a guy you've liked for ages asked you out. You thought its okay to like him becausing liking in Islam is halal - with no action of course, but now you have no idea what to do, because although you love Allah, he seems to love you too. 

Let me just say do not allow yourself to be delusional about this boy. You have to take time to really think this through; if you were to date him, when it ends, how will you face Allah knowing you blatantly disobeyed him? Do not sin in the hope of repenting. Also you need to wake up to reality, okay he may be nice but all guys 'seem nice' this fades and if you dont believe me then believe this, would you ever marry, how long will it take, would your parents approve? Face it sisters this isn't Romeo And Juliet and dating is not a prelude to marriage, it will tear away goodness and all expectations of a pure and healthy marriage. As well as that, dating is unstable theres no real commitment so he can leave whenever he wants and due to this instability you tend to fully emerge yourself into the relationship obsessing and trying your best to make it work, but with marriage there's a contract that can't be ditched as soon as you get bored its real, its serious and you're less likely to be as obsessive because there's no secrets no time lapse as everyone knows about it.

Sometimes its not always him asking you out, sometimes it hasnt even got there yet. Its still in the talking stage- the butterflies in your tummy when you see him, the embarassed blush if he accidentally looks your way. You feel as though life is bliss whenever you see him, nothing can beat being around him. He makes you feel...special.

This isnt ringing ALARM bells but it could still lead to haram. The reason I say this is because yes you can admire, like whoever you want. So long as you don't interact with the person regularly. Doesn't take a genius to work out why thats dangerous. And so on that note I'll end. Any advice you wanna share be my guest :D

P.s ignore the dates on this post and the upcoming posts I dont really get it myself.

Wasalaam

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Solace

I'm tellin  you , it's this world it does funny things t you , messes with yo head. And that's why you gotta find solace. Solace in God, fool!  Don't be talking about no stay gram or cult. God is thee only one that gone help you out of your mess!  Don't be kiddin' yoself thinkin' 'ahh Joseph gone come round' and help me outta' this rut' naw damn well he aint! only God gone be there when life gets drawn out thin, you think Joseph gone be there when you die, fool? Don't be living and dyin by yo friends, Listen to yo old grandpa, when he say I been living for a long time na, and I learnt the world makes you think funny old things, things you would never think before , things like I ain't pretty no more or that girl is betterr than me. Or my frend is my worl'. Things no sane person would think! You hear? Even Things like the colour of my skinn determines my worth naw you see? This world it messes you UP. It gets inside yo skin and dig...

First Eid

It's the first Eid I havent in a long time been to Eid prayer at the mosque, this time I prayed it at home. It's also the first time I went to the cemetery on Eid. I went to visit my Dad. It's weird seeing a slab stone with his name- what's funny is we couldn't find it and we found another stone with his name but the age was wrong and the date of his death, it's funny how two people can die with the same names and different times and mean so much to different people. It's funny how I stared at the stone trying to make more of my Dad than just words written down, than just letters that make up his name, and numbers that make up his age, and everything and nothing that makes up the memory of him. It seems like the memory of him is a distant memory eventhough it was last year he was alive. Why does it feel like he didn't really exist? Why does it feel like he vanished? It was last year he wanted to talk to me, it was last year I was doing nursing, it was ...

Happy music

Life takes us through so many hurdles, so many journeys so many discoveries of ourselves. Do we ever just sit and think about how we came to be the person that we are now? I know I have been through a whirlwind of different personalities, different phases, feelings, thoughts, dreams. However I have remained somewhat constant- what I admire about myself is that I believe in myself (not necessarily my abilities) but I believe and support my actions regardless, and ... I'm glad I have strong principles, I guess it makes me who I am. Despite what I've had to sacrifice for them. Over the years I've always wondered who I'd be. In fact when I was younger I would dream of how I would be when I was older. (Older being past 20's) I'd imagine I would magically transform into this strong, independent, accomplished woman. And it would somehow come to be at this magical transition to adulthood. Oh how I would tell myself it's not that simple. Life is not that simple. W...